Of new year Resolutions and Goals

Contrary to what interpreters of the Mayan calendar would have us believe, 2013 had arrived. Sitting on the couch at Choudhary’s house we were celebrating the New Year’s Eve with our customary “Apple Juice” imported from Scotland. I am sure most of the world was doing the same to welcome the New Year but the question I was asking was: were we really celebrating or just drowning our sorrows? My so called intellectual reverie was shattered by the mini quarrel between my friends. I decided to understand their issue and realized that it was the age old discussion on New Year Resolutions. Rinku was all in for a New Year Resolution on weight loss while Ravi planned to continue his resolution of no New Year resolutions.  Choudhary and I had different plans. We knew that like Rinku there would be many who would try the weight loss thing. We decided to see for ourselves if the number of morning walkers increased post 1^st Jan. We would continue this observation for a week and check out the failure ratio.

True to our resolution we woke up early the next morning. The warm blanket on a chilly Pune morning beckoned us to bed but we were not deterred. Braving the cold conditions we went out to the nearby park frequented by Morning walkers and true to our expectations the numbers had surged tremendously. We jotted down the numbers had our plate of Poha and went back. Barely four days later, more than half of the new people vanished.

The results although expected, sent me looking for my thinking hat. Why is it that most of the people do not honour their own resolutions? A few minutes later I arrived at a conclusion which is not an original. It has been said by many great thinkers and leaders of the world, albeit differently. The resolutions or goals that people generally set for themselves are not what they really want. There goals are mostly society imposed and are not compelling enough for them to sacrifice things to achieve the same. The people who succeed in life have a clear cut goal and a compelling reason to achieve the same.

The answer though satisfied my curiosity, it also raised another question. I had not set my own goals for life. First time in my life I realised that I did not know where I wanted to be. I had been merely moving in a herd. The shock lasted a few minutes and then I took out my pen and paper. I decided to chalk out my plans for the year. I would put solid goals and device plans to achieve them. It would not be mere one night resolutions from today. So far it is looking good. The first step has been achieved with the completion of this piece.

Love makes people do amazing things: Take 1

I have always wondered about this and now sitting at mumbai airport terminal 1B I still have not fathomed the answer. Sitting right next to me is this guy about my age talking with the mouth piece of his handsfree in his mouth. Yeah "in" his mouth. He has been continuously talking but I dare any human being with normal hearing capabilities to catch even a single word of what he has said so far. Please don't get me wrong, am not trying to eavesdrop on this particular guys private conversation but since my college days I have always wondered how people develop this fine art of talking over phone in a voice that barely carries 2 feet. The same friend you find yelling over the phone while talking to his friends or relatives (read mother, boys always yell at mothers as if its their birthright) suddenly seems to lose his voice when the girlfriend calls. And if its a late night call you might not notice he has been talking for hours untill you wake for a loo break and see him talking. The level of secrecy would undoubtedly baffle even the CIA's and the KGB's of the world. This voice drop, though in itself baffeling, is coupled by the girls ability to hold on to every syllable uttered in this secretive technique. I have always been told that love made people achieve amazing things. I don't know about the stuff dished out by romantic hindi movies but I am surely amazed at this particular skill development which happens in almost everybody talking to "the special one " over a phone. My observation though is limited to the Indian people only as I have not had the opportunity to be in close contact with people of other nationalities. All the time I have been typing this on my hand held the guys lip movement has barely ceased for 2 minutes. The smile that plays on his face once in a while is also so subtle that I am not sure at times if its real or imagined. There is a flight announcement and he picked up his things to leave, not letting go of his mouth piece still in the mouth. I still have not found the answer but I guess its ok. After all " agar dilon mein hairaniyan le ke chal rahe ho ... To zinda ho tum".

This day last year ...

This day last year ...

25th March every year is a special one. It is one of my closest friend's birthday.

Last year though, it was super special. Starting sometime in the evening, I was in what i presume is the seventh heaven.

When LDC said "I am the king of the world" in Titanic, he must have felt the same exhilaration that I had experienced.

The body temperature rose to a 100 degrees. Havent we always heard of tears of joy? I guess I had invented fever of joy.

It had been a short interview sitting in a car. I had always tried to imagine how the questions woud be asked.

To be honest I wasn't prepared but I think I answered them the best possible for me.

Every question had given me hope. I had not been assured of the "job" but had been told that I was under "consideration".

I think I kept smiling for the next 2-3 days.

The joy lasted only till the next monday. The interviewer told me that I did not meet some of the "Organizational Requirements" and hence I was summarily rejected.

Numb is the only description that comes close to what I felt then. I barely managed to say that it was OK and I would get in touch later.

The truth is, I was devastated. Somehow one of my favourite Linkin Park song started making perfect sense

I had given my best - "tried so hard", was under consideration _ "Got so far" but in the end ... it doesn't even matter...

However, its been a long time now. I turned NOMAD in a dynamic job. The disappointment has gone, for most of the part, but "memory remains" (what would one do without rock songs)



It was a once in a lifetime moment... but Its gone forever
 
p.s. this was written on 25th march 2011.

Untitled

While browsing through facebook today I came across friend’s beautiful description of this day last year when he got his job. A ‘delloiteful’ status message. I tried to recollect the day I landed my current job with TELCON.

BLANK.

I don’t remember the date, month, not even the day of week. Felt like someone had “obliviated” (refer Harry Potter) the memory. Now that is strange cause I still remember the date when I got the offer letter from JSW (My 1^st job 15^th feb 2006). SO I racked my brain for the memory and then it dawned on me.

The slate is blank cause I want it that way, cause even though the day gave me a victory of sorts it was also a day of Loss.

I had spent a couple of days trying to go through all the MBA gyan and had succeeded in extracting only a couple of productive hours. So around mid day I was all ready with the black business suit and my folder of documents but not much in my brains. The selection process was to be via video conferencing and for that I had to reach Reliance web world at Priya’s. I was near the mother dairy outlet of Katwaria Sarai when my phone rang. It was Rahul Anand, a giant of a man I had befriended in JSW – Tarapur. I was sure that it was just a social call and there were some half formed thoughts in my mind to avoid taking the call as I was trying to focus on the interview, but as always curiousity got the better of me.

I took the call intending to inform him of the interview and promising to call back later.

God had a different plan.

Soon after I said hello Rahul dropped a bombshell on me. In 2-3 short sentences he told me that Bharat Gaikwad had met an accident and was no more. After this the memory has gone hazy.

I remember going very silent for a few seconds, I remember asking him if he was sure, I remember telling him about the interview, I remember him apologizing, I remember disconnecting and I remember screaming in the middle of the road.

I wanted to collapse, wanted to go to Tarapur and see for myself,I wanted to cross check with Atul –in a few seconds I wanted to do a million things. I did nothing. For some time which then seemed like eternity, I did nothing. Then somehow something happened and I moved mechanically to one of the autos parked. I don’t remember what I said, I don’t remember how long it took to reach Priya’s. I only remember that all focus and planning for TELCON had been replaced with memories of time spent with Bharat.

Bharat Gaikwad; the guy who at 35 looked younger than me at times, the guy I had not liked very much at first sight, the guy I used to play volleyball with in that crappy hostel, the guy who had poured beer in a street dogs mouth when he was frustrated with appraisal, the guy who had poured fevi-quick in a lock, the guy who as absolute fun to be with, the guy who was a true friend, and the guy who had an eight year daughter was dead. A road accident had claimed his life His body had remained on the spot for a few hours before any help arrived.

Bharat was many things to many people. Lots of his acquaintances did not like him much, this happens when one is opinionated and Bharat was. But Bharat was also someone who was loved by his friends.

Somehow grappeling with all this in my mind I reached Priya’s. Now am not sure how this happened but as soon as saw Rahul Padia I regained some composure. I guess… sorry in this case I will not hazard a guess. I just don’t know what happened, but somehow as I saw more familiar faces from FORE I started regaining my focus. I did well in the selection process and am today employed with the market leader in CE industry but that day I did not celebrate.

I will never be able to remember that day without Bharat’s death looming large over the memory and perhaps that is why I don’t want to remember the date. Better to have a blank slate I guess.

A Saturday in the life of a future manager

“Have a bounce in your step” she barked. “Either that or you will have to march and reach your position.”

“Where am I?” This question was hammering my head like a battering ram. I had signed up for an MBA program, never in my living memory had I ever thought that theatre was a part of such a program.

“Be loud when you speak, be very clear”, that voice again. I gave up all thoughts of intro or retrospection. With her shouting, I could barely form a coherent thought process. My limited intelligence was just not tuned to handle all the myriad emotions and thoughts (very violent ones) running through my head.

I looked around at my classmates. Some where positively enjoying this … or was it a cover? Others were positively disgusted. The rest had that look which said “lets just get over with it.”

As the first group tried to follow her orders and perform, the web guru of the college started recording the progress. I looked at him in dismay. “Why did he have to record our pathetic performances? Wasn’t the verbal assault of our teacher enough on a Saturday morning?”

“Not the right attitude dude” a small defiant voice inside me jostled. “You are a future manager take it in your stride.” This defiant voice was the reason I kept attending all the classes required for the course while giving up the beautiful morning sleep. How I wish I found a way to shut this voice. “It would be over soon” another voice, this was one of my classmates and somehow even he was not convinced of this statement.

Immediate future was not bright either. “Coming up next” was Strategic management. Yeah! The course title was heavy and attractive. The classes were only heavy. Depending on the topic of discussion in the class, I could be found in one of the following states – daydreaming, Yawning and half asleep. Any other state change happened only when a quiz was expected.

The course seeks to ask relevant strategic questions and apply models like 5 forces, value chain etc. What a waste, when guys like me wanted questions from models like Deepika padukone. Why can’t colleges teach this?

Finally, I somehow managed to pass the class in half asleep state, but, as they say ‘Its not over, till its over’. COG was there to accost me next. The course was almost at an end but most of the class had not been able to figure out who exactly were “They people”. It was a class where the R’s turned to L’s (maybe Shahid kapoor should try this next) and the only way to stay awake was munching on biscuits.

So here was a Saturday in the life of a future manager. At times I shudder to think of the future… when I will be a manager.

The DARE

I had lost the game but I didn’t mind it as long as .................

It was time for the winner to decide who would be punished. The winner was a new entrant in the group. She did not know how things worked in this game. “DARE” said others, “DARE” said I. I liked this part the most. First, the ‘BAKRA’ had to be decided. Five fingers rose at once, all pointing towards me. My heart missed a beat. It could not be. I knew what the dare would be, my nightmare. Hoping against the hope, I asked them to reconsider. Their merciless mirth at my pleas chilled me to the bones. “God, let it not be a proposal.” But God was not on my side it seemed. “Propose the first girl who enters the room”, said they in a unison. I was aghast. They were wolves baying for my blood. Blood had drained from my face; heartbeat resembled the flapping of a humming bird. My protests were drowned in the cacophony of their laughter. Everyone had a score to settle. I knew that I was a dead meat. The question was WHO THE GIRL WOULD BE?? There were a few I could manage to propose but there were others I dreaded. “God, at least let it be an understanding girl who does not slap me”, prayed I with all my sincerity. My greatest dread though, was being humiliated by the girl. I had been witness to one such incident and it was not pretty. I vowed never to play the game again, but I knew that the damage had already been done.

Should I call ‘her’ voiced the only other male of the group that had been playing. “No” screamed I, “not her”. I prayed in my heart-“let no girls come in today, let them all bunk the class”. My ‘friends’ were in raptures, their laughter increasing at the expectation of the drama.

Then she entered, pretty girl. She had declared herself to be a beauty with brains, but she was unpredictable. Someone had predicted once that she would take great pleasure in humiliating anyone who crossed her path. My throat went dry. “I won’t don’t do it”, declared I. “You will”, they yelled back. There was no escape; the law of averages had finally caught up with me. The pretty girl noticed the commotion, “it is some kind of challenge, isn’t it?” she asked. “Yes”, said I, relieved that the proposal would be taken in the right spirit now. “Its OK”, said she, “I understand”. I took a sigh of relief, heartbeat returning to normal. “The girl has only 2 options-1.say yes or,2.slap” chipped in one of the bystanders. “Damn them”, cursed I. “Ohhh!!! Then it shall be a slap”, said she, a smile lighting her face. I was brain dead it seemed. And then I was asking people mindlessly for suggestions. “Let it be over even if it is a slap”. Chattering non-sense, I asked everyone within reach to suggest me a line which I could use for the drama. None came forward. I banged my fists together in frustration and my watch fell off. “Damn, everything was going haywire”. Looking at my friends, I could discern a maniacal gleam in their eyes. God had forsaken me today. The girl had an expectant smile on her face. She was already visualizing the thunderous slap she was about to administer. Somehow, in the commotion, an angel whispered something in my ears. There was no looking back now……………

“MERI BEHEN BANOGI?” said I. There was a groan from the crowd. They were disappointed. She accepted. Relieved and triumphant I turned around to meet the wolves. I laughed at their protest. I had just exploited a loophole; they had not specified what kind of proposal. “Thank you God for sending that angel to help me”, said I...........